The Pun

Run! She’s heading right for us

By Michael Chamberlin ⋅ April 23, 2007 ⋅  Email This Post ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

I hate the Comedy Festival.
I hate it. I dread it. I fear it.
I like performing, and I like spending a month with my friends from all over Australia and world.
I hate the build up, the writing, the stressing, the doubting. You test it and trial it, but it’s always funny one night, awful the next.
One good thing has come out of the build up to this particular comedy festival is that I have come to realise just how good I am at procrastination.
In fact, I just re-wrote the previous sentence a dozen times - just to procrastinate.
But it gets even worse.
For example, I live in the general Fitzroy area, but please, don’t let that give you the wrong idea, despite that, I still wash regularly.
And I live a block from a supermarket, possibly the most expensive supermarket in Melbourne.
Those who live in the area will know which supermarket I’m talking about, and to the owners of said supermarket: I hope you are enjoying your fleet of gold plated helicopters because everybody hates you.
Last week, I even got a call from the Pope who said you were, and I quote, ‘massive pricks’.
So as I was saying, this festival, I have taken procrastination to such a level that I went to said supermarket run by said pricks, not to buy anything, just to see if there was anybody there I could talk to.
I ran into three friends.
I helped them shop for an hour.
It’s like a sickness.
I’m actually getting so good at procrastination, I’m thinking of entering the World Procrastination Championships in Zurich this June.
Well, I was, I just never got around to filling out my application form.
Having said that, there might be a second chance because they say the championships might get pushed back because the organisers have gotten really behind schedule on the construction of the stadiums.
I hope you enjoy the festival. You’re totally mental if you don’t go and see Adam Hills. Saw his show at the Adelaide Fringe. I’ve never seen a comic get that kind of reaction. It was a love-in. More than a thousand people were floating two feet above the ground in a theatre make of jokes. Fuck, I’m poetic.